So many people tell me they don’t know how I do it. So let me just give you a little insight for tonight. As I sit here trying to write a post, after about 4 months, I am listening to my boys play Chutes and Ladders naked because they are waiting their turn in the tub. They had started to get in earlier, but Ella was already in, so out comes the game while they wait. Another one is on the toilet! I have just finished cleaning the kitchen after my wonderful husband has cooked fish for us. Most nights dinner is just something quick and easy. Maybe once to two times a week my sweet family gets a cooked meal. There is always noise. Lots of noise. T.V., yelling, fighting, whining, movies playing from Kindles, and thumping sounds of the girls doing cartwheels from teaching themselves gymnastics. I even just had to stop an argument while I’m writing. Sometimes, I’m not always sure how I make it either!
One thing I do know for sure is that without grace I wouldn’t be sane. Thankfully when I screw up this very hard parenting gig or can’t seem to get everything done or try to control my occasional OCD fixations, grace just seems to sweep in and give me a fresh breath of air. God knows what I’m dealing with and understands the demands of motherhood and work. There’s a song I love to listen to by Matthew West that talks of how “there is a war going on between guilt and grace and how they’re fighting for a sacred space, but I’m living proof grace wins every time.” It’s so easy to feel defeated and not enough when we are beat down, but the sweet thing about Jesus is that we can lay it all down at his feet and fill ourselves with his peace. It’s like putting on your favorite pair of pjs, getting your favorite dessert, and watching your favorite t.v show. There’s a perfect freedom, perfect forgiveness, and perfect confidence, but none of that comes without prayer.
When people tell me they don’t know how I do it, I always tell them that it’s only because lots of prayer. It’s what keeps me going every day. “Lord please forgive me for losing my cool, that I don’t spend enough time reading with my kids, and keeping the kind of house that could be photographed in a magazine.” I go to him daily, hourly, even sometimes by the minute. “Please Lord keep my head from exploding the next time Brody screams for no reason!”
I just throw it out there and that’s when he reminds me that I’m not in competition for the perfect mom, wife, or housekeeper. Is there even such an award? Oh, but how I strive for perfection sometimes. I believe we all do it in some way or another, but let me tell you that motherhood is and should be about praying through it all. Without the prayer and communication from the one who sees it all, I wouldn’t make it. He reminds me that I’m not screwing this all up! Thank goodness! I think he needs to whisper that to my kids as reassurance that he’s got their crazy mama under grace.
For all you moms who are struggling, know that you are loved, forgiven, and chosen for just a time as this. He’s got our back and he’s also got our rest. It’s just a prayer away.