What makes you happy?

It’s easy to be happy when everything is going good. A lot of people, including myself at times, base their happiness on how everything around them is doing. If everything is fine with you and your spouse and kids, then you are fine. If everything’s a mess, then you are too.

This is one area in our walk of faith that is a bit tougher than others. What is going on around us shouldn’t be what our happiness is based on.

Most days my husband and I rarely get a conversation completed while the kids are still up. We try but it just doesn’t work out because we are having to talk over many loud and demanding distractions. Sometimes words are said to each other that are snappy and sometimes hurtful out of frustration from the craziness around us. It’s easy to let those things zap the happiness right out of us.

There are many movies, books, and even cartoons that show couples as having a fairytale ending. Truth is, if you work hard enough at your marriage you can have one too. Maybe not as those portrayed, but nevertheless a great one. Marriage is hard work that requires more than 50%, more than 100%, sometimes it demands 200% (that part where God gives us an extra measure of strength and patience). Too many times in the midst of our busy lives and the craziness around us we place a lot of unrealistic expectations on our spouse for them to ensure our happiness. When those expectations aren’t being met we let it effect our attitude and other areas of our lives. That’s when those less than nice attitudes and actions come out.

I have to remind myself that the center of my happiness comes from HIM not my husband and not me for him. We all make mistakes, fail, and disappoint. We are human and it’s going to happen, but our true happiness comes from the one who is always loving, supportive, and has our best interests at heart. I’m not saying we should always expect our spouses to fail us, but that when we face those less than fairytale situations, we are slow to anger, can forgive quicker, and persevere in those trying times.

Keep in mind that our husbands have expectations of us that we do not meet. It’s not one sided! We need to communicate about the expectations that we have of each other and make sure they’re God’s expectations of marriage and not the made up unachievable ones of our imaginations.

I am very blessed and really happy with the one I have to share my life with and when those trying times come along is when I need to remember that my expectations are set in HIM….

And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. Phillipians 4:19 NLT


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